(In honor of Pentecost Sunday, I went with a Numbers 11:24-31. While the connections to Acts 2 aren't immediately apparent, I think it provides an interesting context.)
There were not many times that the Reverend Jeremiah Stevens could ever remember wanting to strangle somebody. He was not a violent man by nature; he advocated pacifism and was against the war overseas since the very start. He tried to resolve conflicts with words, not fists, and he usually let things slide that most people probably wouldn't. In fact, that very morning the teenage barista at Starbucks had gotten his order wrong. She had given him a grande non-fat double boy hazelnut latte with cream, when he had clearly specified that he had wanted a grande non-fat double boy de-caf hazelnut latte with cream. He hadn't gotten angry though; he didn't mention it. Part of this was because he honestly believed that non-violence was the answer, and partly because he was a bit of a coward. Despite being an intimidating six and half feet tall, two-hundred and fifty pound man, the Reverend Jeremiah Stevens hated conflict. He always had.
It was a strange, unrecognizable feeling, then, to have the urge to jump across the desk and wrap his large hands around the necks of the couple sitting across from him. It wasn't that he wanted to kill anyone, even his bizarre change of attitude hadn't changed that. But if he could just get the two of them unconcious, just make them stop talking, that'd be good enough for him. He'd probably go for the man first; he was largest and would be able to put up more of a fight. Perhaps strangling wasn't the most efficient, though. It would be satisfying, but maybe a good blugeoning with that paper-weight/pen-holder he had gotten for Fathers da-
"Reverend?"
He snapped out of his gory trance. "-yes?"
"I was just asking you how you could approve of black jeans in church?" Tom and Cindy Richardson were, without a doubt, the power players at Holy Trinity Living Water Church. Despite it’s moderate size, the six members of the Richardson clan had somehow managed to squeeze their influence into almost every committee, advisory panel, council and home group in the church. Tom was a veteran Elder, who was currently on his third term in leadership. He planned the men’s prayer breakfast every week and was a regular fixture at the annual men’s retreat. Cindy headed up the Children and Worship program, the Vacation Bible School program, was on the bake-sale committee and crafted the tuna-noodle casserole that everyone fought for at the bi-weekly church potlucks. Even their kids, once content to simply attend every youth group event, had begun to lead the praise team and run the sound board and clean the bathrooms after every church service.
This Friday morning, the Reverend had gotten into the office to find the two smiling suburbanites waiting for him. Jeremiah was accustomed to having one of them in his office at least two or three days out of a week, usually to complain about the songs that Pastor Mike picked out, or the stale nature of the communion bread the Sunday before. The Reverend was usually able to assure them that it wouldn't happen again (whatever it was) and scoot them out the door. It was when both Richardsons arrived at his door that he knew he had better start... battening down the hatches, as it were. Despite their smiling faces and shallow small-talk, Jeremiah had been in the church long enough to realize when he was about to get a serious talking to.
The problem was, it was Friday. And he still had to write a sermon for that Sunday. He had put it off for almost the entire week, and had meetings all afternoon. Really, Friday morning was the only block of time he had put aside to prepare anything. The only other time he would be able to was Saturday night. But there was a Clippers game that he had wanted to see. Besides, the Reverend Jeremiah already knew what the power players wanted to "discuss."
Kelly.
Kelly was a twenty-something college student from the local community college that had begun to attend Holy Trinity Living Water Community Church a year or so ago. She wore black clothes with chains and straps and boots that went up past her knees. Her close-cut black hair was always spiked up and she had more facial piercings than the Reverend was able to accurately count. The first week she had come to the 9:30 service with a shirt that featured the words "Party Naked" in big red letters across the front. She had caused quite a stir.
Still, it had not been a hard decision to offer Kelly the Worship Leader position. A senior music major, Kelly could play almost any instrument she picked up, and she really had, the Reverend thought, the voice of an angel. She loved Jesus, but was just a little mixed up, and he was all about second chances. He asked her if she'd like to lead the congregation in worship, and she told him that she wanted to use songs that she had written. They were beautiful songs that cut into the heart of anyone who heard them, songs that truly connected people with God in new and exciting ways. Despite her loud appearance, Kelly was, for all intensive purposes, the best thing that had happened to Holy Trinity Living Water Church in years.
This had not, however, pleased Tom or Cindy. The two of them spent an entire hour with strained smiles sitting on the plush leather chairs in the Reverend's office explaining why they thought it was a terrible idea to give Kelly the worship leader position. "It's not that we don't like her," Cindy said, "It's just that no one really feels that she represents our church image very well. I mean, is that the sort of person we want to lead us every Sunday?"
Tom nodded his head, "I'm gunna shoot straight with ya' Rev. I ain't go no problem with her piercings or even that crazy boy-haircut she has, but couldn't she at least buy herself a nice dress or something? I mean, it's just no respectable to put herself up on stage dressed like a boy. I'm not trying to tell you how to do your job, but I think you should rethink the direction your heading our church into for a second."
"What if more of them come?" asked Cindy.
"Yeah, and heck Reverend, our Zoe is a perfectly talented individual. She sings well, and plays the piano really well. She loves those Chris Tomlin songs, and I'm just sure the church would like to see her up there more than that Kelly girl."
"Plus she's clean and looks respectable. Isn't that something you'd like to see on our stage every Sunday? I'm not saying that Kelly shouldn't come to our church... but maybe she shouldn't be so involved, you know what I'm saying?"
The Reverend resisted the violent urge that rose up in his chest once again. Rather, he picked up the Bible he had lying on his desk. "Tom... Cindy... have either of you read the book of Numbers?"
"Wha-Rev, I just don't see what that's got to do wi-"
Jeremiah raised his hand. "Please. Humor me."
"Well, the family reads the Bible every night before we go to bed. We read the book of Numbers once, but we usually like to stick to the gospels. You know, stay away from that genealogy stuff."
"That's too bad, Tom," the Reverend said, "Because there is a lot of interesting stuff here. In fact, this Sunday I'm going to be preaching from Numbers 11:24-30."
"But isn't this Sunday Pentecost? Shouldn't you be preaching over... something in Acts?" Cindy asked.
"See, this passage doesn't become too interesting until we actually look at the context of the passage. Here. Let me tell you about it. Right before this happens, the Israelites are in the wilderness during their forty years of exile. They've been traveling for quite a while, and they are sick and tired of the manna that God provides for them. All the Bible really tells us is that they can make doughnut type creations with it. So they begin to complain. They remember the fish and the spices and the garlic that they had in Egypt. They all begin to cry out and harp on Moses. And Moses finally has enough. He goes to the Tabernacle and he says to God, "Why are you treating me, your servant, so harshly? Have mercy on me! What did I do to deserve the burden of all these people? Did I give birth to them? Did I bring them into the world? Why did you tell me to carry them in my arms like a mother carries a nursing baby? How can I carry them to the land you swore to give their ancestors? Where am I supposed to get meat for all these people? They keep whining to me, saying, ‘Give us meat to eat!’ I can’t carry all these people by myself! The load is far too heavy! If this is how you intend to treat me, just go ahead and kill me. Do me a favor and spare me this misery!”
Cindy smiled a more-than-frustrated smile. "That's all good and well, Reverend, but I don't understand what that has to do with Kelly."
"So God answers Moses and he tells him to bring forward seventy elders and leaders from the tribes of Israel and he tells him to bring them to the front of the tent where God dwells. God explains that he is going to give these men a portion of his spirit so that they can help take the burden of leadership alongside Moses. This is a big deal, because up until now, it's only been Moses running the entire show. Imagine being one of seventy men out of a nation that is said to have been a million people. So Moses brings these specially selected men and he stands them in front of the tent, and the spirit of God comes down and the men start to prophesy. But then they stop, and they do it no more. The prophesy was only used to authenticate that these men were special, something that they already knew."
"Pastor, if we could just get to the matter at han-"
"Then, later, we see that two former Hebrew Slaves, Eldad and Medad, are also prophesying within the Hebrew camp. So Joshua tells Moses to get them to stop. Because if two former slaves can prophesy, than anyone can. And if anyone can prophesy, that completely invalidates Moses' leadership. Because up until now, Moses has spoken for God. That is why he is the leader of the people of Israel. Because he speaks to them on God's behalf. Joshua is worried that if everyone can speak to God, that eliminates any authority Moses will have. But Moses says, well, here, what does Moses say?" the Reverend handed the couple his Bible. Cindy reluctantly answered, "Well, it says in verse twenty nine that Moses said, "Are you jealous for my sake? I wish that all the Lord’s people were prophets and that the Lord would put his Spirit upon them all!”
"Right! Right! He said that he wished the entire nation could speak for God."
Tom spoke up. "Jeremiah, I'm gettin' a little frustrated with-"
"Tom, do you know what the Jews eventually called those seventy men?"
"Well, I, uh..."
"The Sanhedrin. Later on in the New Testament, we see that the Sanhedrin, or Jewish ruling council, is constantly after Jesus, plotting and scheming against him. Eventually, they are the ones that convict him and put him to death. The Sanhedrin, an organized group that started out as seventy dusty Israelites, became so distorted, so warped, that they didn't even recognize the Son of God while he was in their midst."
"Reverend Jeremiah Stevens, I demand you stop with your Bible lesson and kick that Kelly bimbo out and give Zoe the worship leader position!" Cindy shouted, knocking over the end table between the two chairs her and Tom were sitting in.
There was an awkward pause. The Reverend Jeremiah Stevens picked up another Bible off of his shelf. He began to read:
"On the day of Pentecost all the believers were meeting together in one place. Suddenly, there was a sound from heaven like the roaring of a mighty windstorm, and it filled the house where they were sitting. Then, what looked like flames or tongues of fire appeared and settled on each of them. And everyone present was filled with the Holy Spirit and began speaking in other languages, as the Holy Spirit gave them this ability.
At that time there were devout Jews from every nation living in Jerusalem. When they heard the loud noise, everyone came running, and they were bewildered to hear their own languages being spoken by the believers.
They were completely amazed. “How can this be?” they exclaimed. “These people are all from Galilee, and yet we hear them speaking in our own native languages! Here we are—Parthians, Medes, Elamites, people from Mesopotamia, Judea, Cappadocia, Pontus, the province of Asia, Phrygia, Pamphylia, Egypt, and the areas of Libya around Cyrene, visitors from Rome (both Jews and converts to Judaism), Cretans, and Arabs. And we all hear these people speaking in our own languages about the wonderful things God has done!” They stood there amazed and perplexed. “What can this mean?” they asked each other.
But others in the crowd ridiculed them, saying, “They’re just drunk, that’s all!”
Then Peter stepped forward with the eleven other apostles and shouted to the crowd, “Listen carefully, all of you, fellow Jews and residents of Jerusalem! Make no mistake about this. These people are not drunk, as some of you are assuming. Nine o’clock in the morning is much too early for that. No, what you see was predicted long ago by the prophet Joel:
‘In the last days,’ God says,
‘I will pour out my Spirit upon all people.
Your sons and daughters will prophesy.
Your young men will see visions,
and your old men will dream dreams.
In those days I will pour out my Spirit
even on my servants—men and women alike—
and they will prophesy.
And I will cause wonders in the heavens above
and signs on the earth below—
blood and fire and clouds of smoke.
The sun will become dark,
and the moon will turn blood red
before that great and glorious day of the Lord arrives.
But everyone who calls on the name of the Lord
will be saved.’"
He closed the Bible, and he and Richardsons enjoyed a moment of silence.
Finally, after a few minutes, Cindy spoke up. "Reverend... does this mean you'll give Zoe the worship leader position?"
There were not many times that the Reverend Jeremiah Stevens could ever remember wanting to strangle somebody. But, as he would later tell the police as the brought him in for charges of aggravated assault, "Some things... are unavoidable."
